Happy New Year, moms! As we step into another exciting year, many of us are thinking about resolutions—not just for ourselves but for how we can enhance our family life. This year, I'm all about diving deeper into mindful parenting. It’s not just about being physically present with our kiddos but truly connecting on a deeper level. Let’s explore some practical and heartwarming ways to strengthen our relationship with our children this year!
Mastering Emotional Regulation Together
One of the most powerful gifts we can give our children and ourselves is the skill of emotional regulation. This year, I want to focus on modeling positive ways to handle emotions. This means, first, being aware of our own responses.
Simple breathing techniques like the 4-7-8 method—breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. Share these techniques with your kids during calm moments so they, too, can learn to manage their feelings. Another great way to teach regulating breathing to your young child is by teaching them to "blow out candles." Have them hold out their fingers and pretend they are candles, take a deep breath in through their nose, and blow the candle out by breathing out of their mouth!
Remember to validate your own emotions as well as your child's! This can sound like, "It makes sense that you're sad we are leaving the park. Mommy is sad when I have to leave places that I love too." Or "Mommy is feeling overwhelmed today. It makes sense that Mommy would be feeling that way when our day is so busy!"
Remember, it’s okay to express when you’re feeling a lot, as it reinforces to kids that their feelings are valid, too. You just want to be careful not to make your child feel responsible for your emotions. There's a difference between "Mommy is feeling a little overwhelmed today" and " When you whine like that, it makes Mommy feel overwhelmed."
2. Intentional Time with Each Child
If you have more than one child, you know that each one has unique needs and ways they feel loved.
This year, I'm committing to spending intentional one-on-one time with both of my children regularly. Of course, this will look different depending on the age of each of your kids!
Whether it’s a weekly date where just the two of you grab a hot cocoa and walk around the park or a set time each week to dive into a shared hobby, make these moments count. This means you should be looking for your child's unique passions, interests, and favorite activities. Art, outdoor time, sports, just talking, whatever it might be - it's unique to each child!
Remember, it’s not about the duration but the quality of time spent that fills up their little love tanks—and yours.
3. Create a Family Ritual or Tradition
Creating family traditions with little children can be a wonderful way to build lasting memories and a sense of belonging. Here are some simple yet meaningful traditions that you can start with your young family:
Weekly Themed Dinner Nights - Set up a weekly themed dinner such as "Taco Tuesday" or "Pizza Friday," where everyone helps prepare the meal. This is a fun way to teach kids about cooking and allows them to contribute in a tangible way.
Seasonal Nature Walks - Make a tradition of going for family walks at the change of each season. Collect natural items like leaves, rocks, or flowers and discuss the changes in the environment. This encourages a love of nature and observational skills.
Holiday Crafting - Dedicate time each year to creating homemade decorations for different holidays. Whether it’s painting pumpkins for Halloween, making Christmas ornaments, or making valentines for family and friends, these activities nurture creativity and become cherished family times.
Birthday Interview - Each year, on their birthday, do a fun interview with your child. Ask them their favorite color, best friend, what they want to be when they grow up, etc. Record these moments either on video or in a journal to look back on over the years.
Bedtime Stories - A SUPER easy one - Make reading a nightly routine. Choose books to read aloud together, or for older children, take turns reading to each other. This not only improves literacy but also provides a quiet, intimate end to the day.
Gardening Together - Create a small family garden where each member can choose a plant to grow. This teaches responsibility and the basics of biology, and it's exciting for kids to see their plants grow and change!
Family Game Night - Set aside one evening a week for family games. Rotate who gets to choose the game, ensuring even the youngest siblings get to pick. This can be simple board games, card games, or interactive games suitable for little ones.
Gratitude Jar - Maintain a gratitude jar where family members can drop notes about things they’re thankful for throughout the year. Read these notes together at the end of the year or on a special occasion to reflect on all the good things.
Seasonal Photo Shoots - Take a family photo each season at the same location. Over the years, you’ll have a beautiful collection of photos that show how your family has grown and changed over time!
These traditions not only add rhythm and predictability to a child's life but also help in creating a family identity that is full of fun, learning, and togetherness.
4. Listen Actively
This year, make a conscious effort to really listen—not just hear them out while you cook dinner or check emails. Sit down, make eye contact, and give your full attention. This shows your children that their thoughts and feelings matter deeply to you, which is fundamental in nurturing a trusting relationship.
If you have young children, one of the best ways to listen to them is through PLAY. Get involved in their games and their toys, and ask how they want you to interact in their little world. What part can you play? What can you help build? It may feel awkward or silly at first, but don't be afraid to engage your own creativity and imagination!
5. Show Unconditional Love
Above all, let your love be the constant in their lives. Let them know that no matter what happens, no matter the mistakes or mess-ups, your love is unconditional.
This security is the foundation of a deep and lasting connection. This is probably the MOST important way to mindfully connect with your children this year.
Don't assume that your children know you love them, tell them OFTEN.
You can tell your child, "Did you know there is nothing you could do that would ever make me stop loving you?"
Give positive affirmations frequently. Find ways to give very specific compliments. A fun way to do this, which I heard from another parent, is to affirm something about your child to their stuffed animals or dolls. Something like, "Hey Teddy, did you see how THOUGHTFUL Addy was to Mommy today when I needed help with dinner? She is such a kind girl." If they are too old for stuffed animals, you can also do this with your partner when they are within earshot.
But, at the end of the day, nothing is more meaningful than looking them in their eyes and expressing your love!
Make sure all of this is not only happening when they are being "good" but also after they make mistakes or have a hard time. Unconditional means just that. No conditions.
Here's to a year filled with love, laughter, and learning alongside your little ones!
Xo,
Jess
Comments